In America, the Social Security Number is the Golden Ticket to pretty much everything. You can actually open a bank account, and even arrange finance with some organisations without it (hence the fact that I’ve already bought a car). But you can only do these things on the understanding that you’ll let the organisation know as soon as you have one arranged.

Getting a SSN is a bit of a pain. The rules for foreign nationals have changed in the last few months, and you now have to wait up to 10 working days from your entry into the country before you can even apply. This is the deadline Homeland Security have for passing on details of your immigration entry to the Social Security Administration. Fair enough. My details actually arrived in 7 working days. So far, so good.

So, I sat in a Social Security office for an hour an a half this morning, in order to submit my application. Unfortunately, when I went up to the window it transpired that I couldn’t apply today. Why not? Because my passport and UK drivers’ licence (which I used as proof of identity) were both issued within the past year.

America is fantastic at beaurocracy. Really, the only place I’ve ever been that’s more beaurocratic is India. It’s quite endearing, really, the number of forms, instructions and other paraphernalia required for everyday transactions. I mean, this is the country that still uses cheques (”checks”) for everything (how quaint), and instituted a “Paperwork Reduction Act” to try to keep the mountains of Governmental paper (and the time needed to fill it in) in check.

So the one-page Social Security application form (you can see a PDF copy here) has four pages of instructions. Four. In amongst those instructions is this:

The identity document must be of recent issuance so that we can determine your continued existence.

Anything about needing something a year old? Nope.

Luckily, I have my UK birth certificate with me (apparently acceptable), but it looks like I’ll have another hour-plus wait tomorrow.

Rassin fassin stupid instructions…

This article first arrived on the interwebnet on Tuesday, January 11th, 2005 at 5:25 pm .
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